distort | who is ryan
Hi. Do you lose sleep over wondering who Ryan is? Does it cause
you to lose concentration at work of at school? Well today we're
going to show you a product that will revolutionize your life!
For the low price of 3 installments of only $27.68 you can
discover who Ryan is! And if that's not enough we'll throw in
some other junk that no one wants, a $53.65 value! Never
wonder about who Ryan is again! Don't take my word for it, here
are what my satisfied customers have to say:
"Ever since I bought this product I've never had to wonder
about who Ryan is again! That left me with a lot of extra
time to become an evil dictator and attempt to kill all the
Jews!"
-Adolf Hitler
"Arruah! Guarugh! Aaaarh!"
-Chewbacca
"Since I bought this great product my brother has stopped
beating me up!"
-Ryan's little brother
"But he has $83.04 that I paid him for the product..."
-Ryan's little brother (again)
"Before I bought this product I could never concentrate on
brushing my teeth or using some mouthwash. Now I have lots
of time to do those things, so now my breath's not blue and
radioactive anymore! I love this product!"
-Godzilla
"After getting this product I've had a lot of time on my
hands. This makes it that much easier for me to hit on
hot girls 5 years older than me. Just call me stud!"
-Anakin Skywalker
"This is almost as much fun as being searched for Anthrax!"
-Saddam Hussien
"If I still had to wonder who Ryan was I would never have
had time to put on all my make-up!"
-Queen Amidala
"Now I can do other things when Hillary's not around."
-Bill
Go buy it now!
Note: We here at Distort do not suggest or even condone
killing Jews (or anyone for that matter), have a nice day.