distort | the queen

Once upon a time, in a kingdom far away there lived a queen.
She was fat and old. Her only job was to wave at people when
she went outside. She also had some kids. Her eldest son was
really ugly and had big ears and bad teeth. However everyone
in the kingdom had bad teeth because they were British. This
queen is a bad queen. That is why the rest of this section is
not about her. It is about Natalie Portman. I love Natalie
Portman.

All hail the Queen!