distort | big secrets
As I'm sure you're all aware the Japanese fought with the Germans
and Italians during World War II and together formed the axis
powers. However what you mey not know is that these 2 contries
are still working together in an attempt to rule the world. The
two countries made some sort of a pact after their defeat in WWII
vowing revenge. Impossible you say? Hardly. The Japanese are
quite skilled in the area of technology. In fact each sector of
Japanese indusry is a front for the German-Japanese war machine.
Here's how some of these branches operate:
You may have seen a robotic dog in the news lately. They tell
you that it's supposed to be some kind of new cyber-pet. The
truth is far different. This is the first step that the Japanese
have taken into creating a robotic soldier. First they create a
robotic dong that can interact with the environment around it.
Next they will create a robotic killer gaurd dog. Then when
technology becomes advanced enough... BAMF! It's T-2000!
Next the Japanese have a large automobile plants all over the
country. These are not just used for making cars. In fact these
plants are a front to build tanks and other such machines. This
gives them a perfect disguise to hide behind. Too bad I blew
their cover.
The last area (the last area that Distort intelligence agents
have been able to transmit) of operation is the anime area.
This may seem amazingly odd to you, but it is true. Anime is
quite popular amgonst certian cliques here in North Amercia
and generates a fair bit of change with which to run the day
to day functions of this massive pact. A less obvious, and
far more devious plot of the anime operation is that they are
secretly sending preliminary designs for killer robots through
their cartoons. Shows like Transfromers and Neon Evangelion
showcase what the Japanese hope to use to conquer the world
with. This allows the Germans to get at the information
without spies noticing (our Distort spies, however, are far
better trained and highly skilled than regular spies) what
they are actually doing. The whole show cannot be a preview
of the Japanese robots though, that's why they have special
scenes to denote which are going to become actual robots. Our
intelligence has been fortunate enough to decipher the code
for the original transformers. Any time that the robots do
their salutes it denotes that the next scene will showcase
a robot that will be produced.
As you may have noticed these salutes are part of the salute
used in Nazi Germany during the time Hitler was in power. That's
all the information we have for you at this time, please keep
posted for more infomation.
Note: None of our Distort intelligence agents are skilled in
using the mouse to draw things, thus the crappy Corel 7 diagrams
of the transformers above.